The Sun Never Rises on the Britton Empire

Peter Abraham is reporting that Brian Bruney will be recalled from Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, with Ron Villone likely being sent down. This is a pretty baffling move for me. I understand sending Villone down, as he seems to have lost the ability to throw a strike. What I don't understand is why Brian Cashman has again passed on calling up Chris Britton.

For those who don't know about Britton, he's the hard throwing righty obtained from Baltimore in the Jared Wright trade. When this trade happened, I assumed Britton would be in the major league pen from the get go, as he had pitched very effectively for the Orioles in 2006, posting a decent 4.36 RA (I prefer to use runs against rather than ERA, because, let's face it, official scorers are pretty lousy), and a strong 1.17 WHIP (that's walks and hits per inning pitched) in 53.2 innings. He's been dominant in Scranton with a 2.89 RA and a 1.13 WHIP, and allowed only one run in five innings in a short callup earlier this year. Considering the Yankees bullpen woes, I have to think that the Yankees have some sort of off the field reason for not bringing him up. So, I present to you my top 5 possible reasons that Chris Britton is still in the minors:

5. Mariano Rivera is afraid the 300 lb Britton will eat him if a game goes on too long. He also might use Edwar Ramirez as a toothpick.

4. He refuses to leave Scranton until Pam Beesly goes out with him.

3. Kicked Joe Torre's dog

2. He is the leader of a secret Scranton Army and is plotting to conquer neighbouring Wilkes-Barre

1. George Steinbrenner and Brian Cashman cannot bear to look upon him, for he is a reminder of their terrible shame for having signed Jaret Wright.